2133.350 – BIG BANG
– FADE IN –
We are outside the Deimos Intergalactic Arena as fans stream in for the biggest event in the GALAXY…BIG BANG! NITRO is standing by on the red carpet at the VIP ENTRANCE!
NITRO: Welcome ladies and gentlemen across the galaxy to the BIG BANG pre-show! My name is Nitro and I will be interviewing the special guests as they arrive. I just missed interviewing Star Warrior, the original Star Warrior, but look who is coming down the red carpet right now!
GRYT comes in, waving to fans.
NITRO: Gryt, great to see you!
GRYT: Of course it is. I thought that BIG BANG could use a little of that ‘pound for pound’ magic and here I am!
NITRO: What have you been up to?
GRYT: Giving back man. Training the next generation of fighters back on CTA-102! But you know, I’ve been thinking about making a comeback.
NITRO: A comeback in the ring?
GRYT: No, no. A comeback doing your job.
NITRO: MY JOB?!
GRYT: Yeah greaseball, you’re played out. No one wants to listen to your simpering voice anymore. They want a real investigative reporter. A reporter with b*lls big enough to get the stories that matter.
NITRO (laughing): Well, you’re going to have to go talk to Sly Drury about that.
GRYT: You know what? I think I will. Your days are numbered ham and egger.
GRYT stomps off.
NITRO (shaking his head): Well, there you have it folks, my days are numbered. But, since I’m still here I’ll interview this young lady.
NITRO steps over to a woman who has her back towards camera. She’s got long blonde hair and a sequin, barely there, dress. She towers above NITRO because of her heels. NITRO taps her on the shoulder.
NITRO: Excuse me miss, I was hoping that–
The WOMAN spins around to reveal she is…PLETHADOR!
PLETHADOR: Oh, Nitro honey, it’s so good to see you.
PLETHADOR gives NITRO a hug that weirds him out.
NITRO: I see you’ve gone through some…changes…since the last time we saw you.
PLETHADOR (sweeping his blonde locks out of his eyes): Oh baby, there haven’t been any changes. This is who I’ve always been. You know I’m an amphibian Ani-Man right?
PLETHADOR: Well honey, amphibians can change their genders at will. I was a big brawny wrestler for awhile. Now I identify with my feminine side and it’s wonderful.
NITRO: I see.
PLETHADOR: And let me tell you, it’s been nothing but blue skies and clear water! My acting career has only gotten bigger and, baby, those award nominations keep rolling in.
NITRO: Well, it’s certainly interesting to see you and I hope you enjoy BIG BANG!
PLETHADOR: Who doesn’t enjoy a big bang?!
PLETHADOR laughs wildly and plants a big kiss on NITRO’S cheek and slips a piece of paper in his pocket.
PLETHADOR (whispering): My number. Call me.
PLETHADOR walks off and NITRO is three shades of red! He clears his throat.
NITRO: Well, as you can see, never a dull moment. And speaking of dull, ladies and gentleman, here’s a competitor who is, surprisingly, not booked on tonight’s card, Aethran Overmaster!
AETHRAN OVERMASTER enters frame. He’s wearing a T-SHIRT with some words printed on it. NITRO reads them.
NITRO: Legs…Out. What does that mean? Legs Out?
AETHRAN OVERMASTER says nothing. but glares at NITRO.
NITRO: Uh, yeah. So, are you upset you aren’t booked on tonight’s card?
In one swift move, AETHRAN OVERMASTER has NITRO above his head and smashes him with REIGN OF THE OVERMASTER! The CROWD looks on in silence.
AETHRAN OVERMASTER smooths out his shirt and steps over NITRO and into the building.
The camera pans down to NITRO in a crumpled heap. After a beat, a hand comes into frame and snatches the microphone from NITRO’S limp hand. The camera pulls back to reveal who it is.
GRYT: This is your new interviewer Gryt and it’s time to head to ringside for the start of BIG BANG!
Commentary: Trent Lawless
Sly Drury vs. Faller
Sly Drury defeated Faller with a via countout after SLY DRURY piledrives FALLER on the floor outside the ring.
Match Notes: SLY DRURY wastes no time in absolutely destroying FALLER. It’s all LORD NEXUS could do to not get involved.
After getting his arm raised, SLY DURY gabs the mic.
SLY DRURY: Get used to seeing MARTIAL LAW dominate tonight. We are going to end the year with a BIG BANG.
The FANS boo loudly as he leaves the ring
Castilex vs. Gladiators 2133
Moog defeated Probation with a via DQ whe PROBATION smashes MOOG with his armband right in front of the ref.
Match Notes: Not so much a match as it was a brawl. CASTILEX looked good and it appears as if the GLADIATORS are back to working well as a dominant team. The FANS are hungry to see these two teams tangle again. After the bell, however, CASTILEX showed no interest in returning to the ring as they simply left.
Scorn vs. Elina
Scorn defeated Elina with a pinfall after a piledriver.
Match Notes: Decent match between these two number one contenders, either one should be wrestling for the title, but they were forced to fight each other at the insistence of SLY DRURY. SCORN seems to have a new found edge in this match tonight. Viciously putting Elina away without too much trouble.
– DARK MENACE ARRIVES –
DARK MENACE heads to the ring to a cacophony of boos from the CROWD! He walks around ringside and looks at the cage sitting there for him to enter. He does a couple of false entrances and the CROWD is letting him have it. SLY DRURY, in his luxury box grabs a mic.
SLY DRURY: Menace! Do I need to remind you what will happen if you refuse to participate in this match?
DARK MENACE swears up a storm and kicks the cage, hurting his foot in the process. The REF shoves him in the cage and locks the door. He is not happy about it at all. The CROWD loves it.
– SO MUCH WINNING MATCH – TITAN DEATH RULES –
Better Than Human vs. Vampire Legends
Psi defeated Coven Black with a pinfall after PSI hits COVEN BLACK with PSI APEX THRUST.
Match Notes: BETTER THAN HUMAN get the victory and the fans are cheering because PSI and THARKAS now get five minutes, alone in the ring with DARK MENACE!
VAMPIRE LEGENDS leave ringside, right after the bell. THARKAS and PSI come out of the ring and begin circling the cage DARK MENACE is trapped in. They each grab a side and start wheeling it towards the ring but they stop and begin pushing him up the ramp!
The ref is following behind shouting for them to return to the ring area but PSI silences him with a thought.
Once near the top of the entrance, THARKAS demands the key to the cage from the ref! The ref hands it over and THARKAS looks at it in his hand and then…throws it as hard and as far as he can into the CROWD.
DARK MENACE watches as the key glimmers in the lights and then disappears into the sea of people.
BETTER THAN HUMAN circle the cage one more and then, to the screams of DARK MENACE, they shove him, cage and all, off the entrance ramp into the CREW pit area!
The cameras scramble to follow and then they can focus in and throw some extra light on the subject, all can see that DARK MENACE is out cold!
The CROWD could not love anything more than this. BETTER THAN HUMAN both spit down onto DARK MENACE’S lifeless form and exit to the cheers of the CROWD.
– ONE MORE TIME – ORION CHALLENGE MATCH –
Kill Prey vs. Monolith
Monolith defeated Kill Prey with a via pinfall with CATASTROPHE earning 2 points.
Monolith defeated Kill Prey with a via pinfall with Monolithic Slam earning 2 points, bringing his total to 4 points.
Kill Prey defeated Monolith with a via pinfall with GO FOR THE KILL earning 2 points
Monolith defeated Kill Prey with a via submission with I BREAK YOU for a big 3 points! Monolith’s total is now 7 points!
Monolith defeated Kill Prey with a via submission with I BREAK YOU for a another 3 points for a total of 10!
Match Notes: The FANS come unglued was KILL PREY taps out to the second I BREAK YOU! MONOLITH gets a fair amount of revenge for all the grief KILL PREY has put him through this year! CATFIGHT leaps into the ring and congratulates MONOLITH with a kiss and the two leave the ring, and the lifeless KILL PREY, to the cheers of the CROWD.
– MAIN EVENT STIPULATION – TITAN DEATH MATCH –
Titan Samurai vs. Mean Streets
Kenji defeated Patch with a submission via an ANKLE LOCK!
Match Notes: LORD NEXUS hops into the ring to celebrate with TITAN SAMURAI! The cameras zoom up to SLY DRURY’S luxury box and he is furious! SHAYNE stands behind him and just smirks. The CROWD loves it! The main event, SHAYNE vs. PERFECT SPECIMEN for the GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP will now be contested under TITAN DEATH RULES!
– A DEBUT –
KRUD stands in the middle of the ring. He paces back and forth awaiting his opponent. Suddenly, the lights in the entire arena dim. Red velvet curtains fall, draping either side of the entrance. A familiar, female voice comes over the arena’s PA system.
VOICE: Many years ago, there was a manager here in the GWF named The Collector. The Collector was unique because he would take existing wrestlers who had promise and he made them better. He turned them into something more. He turned them into LEGENDS!
All lights are now out except for a single spot on the entrance.
VOICE: Sadly, The Collector has been gone for close to fifteen years now. There’s no one left with the talent. The eye. The ability that The Collector had. The GALAXY’S FINEST™ doesn’t have The Collector. But it does have…
A woman in an elegant red velvet dress sweeps into the spotlight.
The place goes bananas seeing superstar WIGGY. When she left at the end of last year she was THE most popular superstar in THE GALAXY’S FINEST™! She soaks in the cheers and adulation she missed during her absence. She raises a hand and a hush falls over the arena.
WIGGY: I’m back. And tonight, I present to you a reimagined wrestler of my own design. I found a poor, sad soul who was saddled with a horrible gimmick. He lacked even a drop personality. He lacked any style. He lacked any sense of direction. I took him and molded him and made him into something new. Something better than he was. I made him a legend. I give you a master of the dramatic arts. I give you an actor the likes of which the GALAXY has never seen! I give to you….THE DISCIPLE OF THEATRE!
A figure steps into the spotlight next to WIGGY and it takes a moment but people realize that it is the wrestler formerly known as DISCIPLE OF TERROR! He is dressed in resplendent finery. He holds his head up high and carries with him a skull. With a flourish he bows for the CROWD.
The CROWD is a little unsure how to act because DISCIPLE OF TERROR was a bad guy not too long ago, but as he extends an arm towards WIGGY, which she accepts and strolls with her to ringside, he is getting some applause.
He enters the ring with poise and flair, leaping the top rope, removing his cape and folding it neatly. He closes his eyes and takes a big inhale and then nods to the ref. The bell rings.
Disciple of Theatre vs. Krud
Disciple of Theatre defeated Krud with a pinfall after Feel the Drama!
Match Notes: DISCIPLE OF THEATRE makes a huge debut here at BIG BANG, destroying KRUD in mere minutes. It’ll be interesting to see how he fares against a more challenging opponent, but for now he gets a standing ovation in terms of skills shown here. DISCIPLE OF THEATRE stands over the fallen KRUD taking bows as WIGGY runs in and hands him a huge bouquet of flowers! He kisses her and they both bow together to the adoration of the CROWD. There is a small smile on DISCIPLE OF THEATRE’S face. Something we have not seen before. It’s going to be an interesting new year, for sure!
– COMMERCIAL –
We cut to a ranch and see SHAYNE loading a big bail of hay onto the back of a horse drawn cart. He turns to the camera.
SHAYNE: Howdy friends, it’s your old pal, GALAXIAN CHAMPION Shayne. As I reckon’ you’re aware, I’m the longest reigning GALAXIAN CHAMPION of all time. I owe that to clean living, eating right and not smoking dope.
He sits on the back of the cart.
SHAYNE: Now whether you call it dope, bud, weed, cannabis or any other of a million moronic names, there’s only one truth. It’s trash. And as the old saying goes, you are what you eat, or in this case, smoke. So if you do dope, you are nothing but trash. And trash, well, trash gets taken out to the curb. That’s what I plan to do with every single piece of trash in the galaxy that smokes dope. Don’t be trash. Don’t smoke dope.
SHAYNE turns back to his work.
ANNOUNCER: A message from THE GALAXY’S FINEST™ and GALAXIAN CHAMPION Shayne.
– TAG TEAM ELIMINATION – CENTRA COFFIN MATCH –
Burning Hell vs. Demon Hunters
Burning Man defeated Crossfire with a slam into coffin after Burning Face Claw. (submission)
Burning Man defeated HelSin with a slammed into the coffin after EXHAUSTION (+1). pinfall
Match Notes: BURNING HELL dominates the match, using quick tags and taking advantage of the ref being knocked out to secure the victory! BURNING MAN took great pleasure at slamming the lid down on the coffin on CROSSFIRE. The grin on his face was sickening. After HELSIN was firmly in the coffin on top of CROSSFIRE, BISHOP HELL chained the coffin closed and he and BURNING MAN began wheeling it away from ringside! SECURITY ran to try and prevent them from leaving but BISHOP HELL (II) kept them at bay with HELLFIRE! Before this match, BURNING MAN promised to burn them alive! Is that what’s going to happen?! No one knows.
– GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH –
Fhanna vs. Sinful
Fhanna defeated Sinful with a via pinfall after THE OTHER WOMAN.
Match Notes: FHANNA becomes the new GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION! SLY DRURY rushes to ringside to celebrate! MARTIAL LAW now controls all four titles! SLY DRURY could not be happier!
– INTERPLANETARY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – TIRION TRIPLE THREAT MATCH –
Totalis vs. Witness vs. Euritar
Witness defeated Totalis with a via pinfall when WITNESS hit TOTALIS with PROSECUTION
Match Notes: WITNESS takes advantage of the beating delivered to TOTALIS by EURITAR (II) and reclaims the INTERPLANETARY CHAMPIONSHIP! SLY DRURY is not happy at the short lived grasp MARTIAL LAW had on all the titles. Cameras show him sour faced in his luxury box! WITNESS and EURITAR (II) shake hands and leave together and TOTALIS, THE TOURNAMENT MASTER stomps around the ring in frustration!
GALAXIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Security Squad 2133 vs. Predators
This match ended in a draw (DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION when all four men began brawling at ringside and the ref could not restore order)
Match Notes: CROWD: Let them fight! Let them fight!
The chanting of the CROWD fell on deaf ears as the ref throws the match out! It was a decent back and fort for the first few minutes but CODE DESTROYER went to use his crowbar and LOPE tackled him through the ropes to the arena floor. That was the moment the ref lost control as all four men tore into each other.
SECURITY had to run out and break apart the four men and that took several minutes. The CROWD booed loudly that the match wouldn’t continue.
GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH _ TITAN DEATH RULES
Shayne vs. Perfect Specimen
Shayne defeated Perfect Specimen with a via pinfall after EYE 4 EYE.
Match Notes: PERFECT SPECIMEN was in perfect control, scoring near-fall after near-fall. But then SHAYNE hit SHAYNE’S FURY and remained in control the rest of the match!
Love him or hate him, and most people do hate him, SHAYNE has firmly cemented himself at the GREATEST OF ALL TIME. NO ONE, in the history of THE GALAXY’S FINEST™ has held the title longer! He has taken on all-comers and defeated them all.
Fireworks go off inside the arena as SHAYNE stands in the center of the ring and straps the title around his waist.
It is the picture of an icon. A picture of the, undisputed, GREATEST OF ALL TIME.
Confetti begins to rain down as SHAYNE soaks it all in. Up in his luxury box, SLY DRURY is smiling and applauding.
FADES TO BLACK
– EPILOGUE –
Later that night, the arena is empty. The sounds of fireworks ringing in the new year are heard thudding from outside.
A lone JANITOR is sweeping up confetti. She hums quietly to herself when all of a sudden….
VOICE: Hello! Hey! Hello!!
He jumps in surprise and looks to her left to see a man lying in a cage that is on it’s side.
DARK MENACE: Hey! Let me out! Let me out of here! Can you find the key?! It’s somewhere in the arena.
The JANITOR stare at him for a second, shrugs and goes back to sweeping.
DARK MENACE: Hey! Where are you going?! COME BACK! Look, I have commemorative coins I can give you! Hey! COME BACK! HEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!!!!
The JANITOR disappears from sight.
DARK MENACE: Cuck.
Reposted here with permission. All characters are fictitious. Any similarity between these characters and living persons is purely coincidental.