Live from The Pony Dome, Equuleus

Commentary: Trent Lawless
Backstage/Ringside: Nitro

A week removed from RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE, the GALAXY’S FINEST™ is in the intimate Pony Dome on Equuleus for a night of action and it stars with a bang!  Or should I say, howl!

WOLF:  Oooooowowwwwwooooooooooo

The crowd is on their feet as Wolf enters the arena!  We haven’t seen the legend since he was captured and held prisoner by THE SUPERIOR ANI-MEN™!  Of course fans remember it was Monolith who secured the release of Wolf via negotiations with Euritar.  The fans cheer the returning hero as he makes his way to the ring.  Once inside, he climbs up onto the corner turnbuckle and gives out another long howl!

WOLF:  Ooooooooowwwwwooooooo!

The crowd is eating it up.

WOLF:  It is great to be back and out of the god damn cage!  And, you know, I have the entire AniMe Team to thank for it.  Plethador pulled the team together and it wasn’t for him recruiting, the big man, Monolith, I’d still be locked up.  Now, Plethador is feeling under the weather but I know he’ll be back here dancing soon.  But I know the big man is backstage and I’d love to thank him publicly so Monolith, get out there!

The crowd goes nuts as all eyes turn toward the entrance and out comes Monolith!  As usual he is stone faced, but he marches towards the ring and climbs up into it.  He stands next to Wolf who extends a paw.  Monolith takes it and they shake.  Monolith nods and turns to leave.  Wolf grabs his shoulder.

WOLF:  No, no, no!  You don’t get off that easy, big guy!  I need to properly thank you.

Monolith turns back to Wolf.

WOLF:  In the past, we’ve had our differences but I’m glad we could bury the hatchet and work together.  It means the world to me that you have my back and I want you to know that I have your back.  If you need me, which I know most of the time you don’t, I’ll be there.

Wolf turns to the crowd.

WOLF:  It’s important to have teammates you can trust people.  Because if there’s nothing I learned while being held captive by THE SUPERIOR ANI-MEN, it’s that Monolith here IS NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF TRASH!

Wolf leaps across the ring and clobbers Monolith with the microphone square in the face sending the giant stumbling back into the corner.  The crowd is in total shock!  Wolf waves to the back and a ref comes to the ring and calls for the bell!  Holy cow fans, we have a match!

Monolith d. Wolf via DQ when Wolf ignores the ref’s warning and slams Monolith across the face with a chair – ** – After the bell, Wolf kept stalking Monolith with the chair!  He was foaming at the mouth!  Suddenly ANIMEN REVENGE came running to ringside to help Monolith and they chased Wolf back from the fallen Monolith but then suddenly Prime Colonizer, Lope and Balaal ran to the ring and began beating on ANIMEN REVENGE!  The fans were near riotous!

In moments, Prime Colonizer, Lope and Balaal had Panther Warrior and his partner on the ground and they turned and looked at Wolf!  Wolf stared at them, wild eyed with the chair raised.  A beat and then Wolf drops the chair!  Prime Colonizer steps over to him and raises his paw in the air.  Lope and Balaal cross and join them.  Prime Colonizer grabs the mic.

PRIME COLONIZER:  No longer superior, with Wolf, we are THE ULTIMATE ANI-MEN!

The fans boo loudly at Wolf’s apparent defection and the quarter laugh and celebrate all the way out of the ring, leaving Monolith, Panther Warrior and his partner knocked out on the arena floor.  Once they are gone, officials come out to help them to the back.

The mood is somber until Wiggy steps through the entrance way and the mood swings completely the other way!  Fans are back on their feet as Wiggy heads to the ring with She Devil and Scorn walking side by side behind her.  They climb up into the ring as Wiggy makes her way over to the broadcast table.

TRENT LAWLESS:  Wiggy, it is indeed an honor to have you, the single most popular star in GALAXY’S FINEST here at the broadcast position.

WIGGY:  Oh, Trent, it’s an honor to finally be with a legend in the GWF Podcasting game like yourself I mean, you originated the GWF podcast and no matter how hard I try I can never duplicate what you did.

TRENT LAWLESS:  I’ll take that compliment!  Ha ha!  Now, you are out here, obviously because She Devil and Scorn are going to to go head to head here tonight, but I have to ask you about Fhanna and Taichi and what happened at RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE.

WIGGY:  That was a real unfortunate situation.  The whole purpose of WIGGY’S WOMEN was to bring the women of the GWF together.  To show that when it comes to this sport, we are better than the men.  Things have been patched over between Fhanna and Taichi, but it was really unfortunate that Taichi had to resort to those kind of tactics.

TRENT LAWLESS:  Now, Wiggy, I’ve reviewed the footage several times and I think it’s pretty clear that Fhanna was about to slam Taichi into the barbed wire and she just reversed it.

WIGGY:  There’s no evidence of that, that I can see.  Did Fhanna slam Taichi into the barbed wire?

TRENT LAWLESS:  No, but only because—

WIGGY:  No, the answer is, “No.”  There’ no “But only because.”  But none of that matters, we’ve worked it all out, so let’s turn our attention to the ring and the two world class athletes in there.

The cameras turn to the ring where She Devil and Scorn shake hands and the ref calls for the bell.

She Devil d. Scorn via pinfall after a Siren Suplex – **** – Hugely competitive match here between these two and strictly by the books.  Neither took any shortcuts or threw their opponent out of the ring.  She Devil gets the win and both shake hands and hug after the bell.

WIGGY:  You see that, Lawless.  THAT is respect for the sport!  Let’s see any of the male competitors behave like that.

Wiggy leaves the broadcast table and joins She Devil and Scorn and all three raise their hands to the cheers of the crowd.

As the three of them leave they pass ULTIMATE FIGHTER who are on their way out to the cheers of the crowd.  Shoot and Clinch try to get She Devil to join in their arm waving antics, but She Devil just smiles and keeps walking.  ULTIMATE FIGHTERS continue to the ring.

Out next, hitter opponents, BACK IN BLACK along with the Dark Menace.  Nitro catches them in the aisle.

NITRO:  Dark Menace—

DARK MENACE:  Ugh, not you again.  Haven’t written you off yet?  Why must you pester me?

NITRO:  I wanted to ask, I don’t mean to criticize, but it would appear that DARK MENACE FORCES is spinning their wheels a bit.  I mean none of your wrestlers are in contention for any titles.

Dark Menace glares at Nitro.

DARK MENACE:  Peabrain, listen to me, a wise philosopher once said, “If you are going to amount to anything, your success does not depend upon the brilliancy and the impetuosity with which you take hold, but upon the ever lasting and sanctified buldoggedness with which you hang on after you have taken hold.”


DARK MENACE:  Ha!  I figured as much!  You can always stump a simple mind with logic!

Dark Menace and BACK IN BLACK push past Nitro and head to the ring for their match with ULTIMATE FIGHTERS.

ULTIMATE FIGHTERS stand in the ring and as BACK IN BLACK enter, UltraMantis Black begins shaking his staff at Shoot and Clinch and chanting loudly in a strange language.  Shoot and Clinch, along with the crowd, are perplexed at these weird incantations.  Just as soon as they begin, UltraMantis Black stops and acts normally.  Both Coven Black and Dark Menace have wicked smiles on their faces.  Looks like UltraMantis Black will start with Shoot.  The ref calls for the bell.

BACK IN BLACK d. ULTIMATE FIGHTERS via pinfall when UltraMantis Black hits Shoot with a lariat – ****1/4 – This was a brutal and odd match.  All four men tore into each other and all four were bloody by the end.  At one point in the proceedings, Shoot bailed to the outside and looked like a man possessed!  He picked up a chair and looked as if he was about to hit UltraMantis Black with it!  UltraMantis said a word in his strange incantations and Shoot paused for a minute and UltraMantis Black was able to take over.  Then, seconds before the end of the match, Shoot threw UltraMantis Black into the turnbuckle and then charged in after him.  UltraMantis, again, said some weird words and Shoot paused momentarily, allowing UltraMantis Black to charge out of the corner with a lariat and get the win!  Could UltraMantis Black actually be able to control other wrestlers?  More investigation will be needed!

Out next is Overtime and Lord Nexus to huge cheers from the crowd.  Overtime hops into the ring and waits for his opponent.  Darkest Justice comes into the arena with CatFight and Dark Menace.  CatFight has her bag with 50,5000 credits that she won at RANDOM ACTS OF VENGEANCE over her shoulder.  As Darkest Justice and Dark Menace continue to the ring, Nitro catches CatFight in the aisle.

NITRO:  I see you still have your big bag of credits, CatFight.  Any ideas on what you’ll spend the money on?

CATFIGHT:  Time will tell Nitro.  I will say this, until I figure out exactly what I’m going to spend it on, my offer to Wiggy still stands.

CatFight looks directly into the camera

CATFIGHT:  Wiggy, quit managing.  Come be my personal assistant and all this is yours.

She hold the bag ope so the camera can see the credits inside the bag.

CATFIGHT:  Just think of everything you could do with this, Wiggy.  It’d change your life forever.

The crowd boos loudly as CatFight cackles, closes the bag and continues to the ring.

Darkest Justice and Overtime circle each other and the ref calls for the bell.

Darkest Justice d. Overtime via pinfall with ROD OF INJUSTICE – ***** – What a match!  Great back and forth!  Darkest Justice gets the win but it wouldn’t have been possible without both CatFight and Dark Menace interfering much to the consternation of Lord Nexus who, to his credit, also got involved in the action at one point.  Darkest Justice gets the win and, no doubt, will use it as another needle to poke his rival Perfect Specimen with.

Magnus the Magnanimous is out next with Splatter (II) and Code Destroyer, the team of THE CLOAK.  They stand in their ring and wait for their opponents.  After a bit of a longer wait than usual, Panther Warrior and his partner make their way to the ring.  They both look a little worse for wear having been the victims of a beatdown by the newly formed ULTIMATE ANI-MEN™ earlier in the evening.  They make their way to the ring, beaten, but with determined gaits.  Looks like Code Destroyer will start with Panther Warrior’s partner.  The bell rings.

ANIMEN REVENGE d. THE CLOAK via DQ when Splatter (II) and Code Destroyer clobber Panther Warrior’s partner with their respective weapons – DUD – From the opening bell it looked like THE CLOAK were just toying with the beaten down Ani-Men.  Panther Warrior’s partner got a flash near fall on Spaltter(II) and that’s when the weapons came out.  After the bell, THE CLOAK and Magnus left ringside as if they could care less.  Panther Warrior helped his partner to his feet and out of the ring.

Dark Menace makes his way towards the ring with Bishop Hell (II).  They converse quietly in the ring as they await Hell (II)’s opponent.  The crowd comes to live when the sound of a dobro fills the arena!  Out on his horse, Paintbrush, is Shayne to the cheers of the crowd.  He fires western revolvers in the air as he heads to the ring.  Bishop Hell (II) does not look impressed.  Shayne dismounts and climbs into the ring, removing his hat, duster and holsters and readies to square off!

Shayne d. Bishop Hell (II) via pinfall after Frontier Justice – *** – Despite some early offense from Bishop Hell (II), Shayne took over and completely ran roughshod over his opponent.  After the match he grabbed his lasso off of Paintbrush and hogtied Bishop Hell (II) in the middle of the ring.  The fans LOVED it!  Dark Menace was not amused.  Shayne, having now, hopped back onto Paintbrush with a leap from the top rope and rode off into the (Holovision) sunset.

Dark Menace was finally able to untie Bishop Hell (II) and get him to the back.

With the ring clear, it was now time for the MAIN EVENT and this was a match everyone was waiting for!  Havoc comes out with Magnus the Magnanimous in tow.  They strut to the ring without a care in the world!  The cockiness fades a hair when Havoc’s opponent enters the arena to the cheers of the fans!  It’s Star Slayer and he looks hell bent on getting some revenge on Havoc, one of the two men who put him out for several cards.  Star Slayer charges the ring and ref calls for the bell!

Havoc d. Star Slayer via pinfall after COSMIC NIGHTMARE – **1/2 – Star Slayer got way too overhyped for revenge in this match and made mistakes left and right that Havoc easily capitalized on.  After the bell, Havoc tossed Star Slayer out of the ring and he and Magnus laughed wildly at the crumpled heap on the concrete as we…