Live from the Solar Flare Stadium, Mercury

Commentary: Trent Lawless
Backstage/Ringside: Nitro

It’s a ‘beach party’ atmosphere here at the Solar Flare Stadium.  The unique clear domed arena lets the sun in but keeps the inside temperature livable for all creatures, not just those who call Mercury home.  The fans of the GALAXY’S FINEST™ are packed to the rafters and excited beyond all belief at the return of RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE!  This is the SuperCard where moments before the bell rings for each match, a random stipulation is added thanks to a supercomputer controlled by Euritar!  Just another innovation by the GALAXY’S FINEST that is duplicated all throughout the galaxy.

The camera pans past Euritar, finger on the Randomizer button and then turns to the entranceway to the ring!  The crowd lets out huge jeers as Darkest Justice heads to the ring to accompany CatFight for her match!  The nefarious Dark Menace is also joining them, yelling to the crowd as they make their way to the ring.  Once they are ringside, the arena explodes with cheers as out comes the most popular GWF SuperStar, Wiggy!  The roar of the crowd is deafening!  Wiggy waves to the crowd as she leads Nova, one of WIGGY’S WOMEN™ to the ring!  Our opening match is CatFight vs. Nova with, of course, a random stipulation added!  Both competitors climb into the ring and Euritar hits the Randomizer button.  The computer whirrs and chugs and at the sound of a bell, out pops a little card that Euritar picks up and reads.  He grabs a mic.

EURITAR: HitMan Match for 50,500 credits!

The crowd cheers loudly!  A pole materializes in the middle of the ring and on top is a bag the money in it.  Dark Menace is visibly drooling at the the sight of the bag and thinking about his cut of those credits as CatFight’s manager!  Both CatFight and Nova look up to the bag and the bell rings!

CatFight d. Nova by grabbing the bag of money after FELINE FURY – ***** – This one was wild!  At one point after some interference, both Dark Menace and Darkest Justice were ejected from ringside by the referee!  Even Wiggy tried to get involved but wasn’t able to make it through the ropes before CatFight clobbered her much to the dislike of the fans!

After the bell, CatFight got on the mic.

CATFIGHT:  Hey Wiggy, seems all that Wiggy’s Women are good for is being punching bags!  Ha!  Hey, you’ve been trying for weeks now to get me to join your little knitting circle, I have a proposition.  I’ll give you this entire bag of 50,500 credits if you quit managing for good and become my personal assistant.  You know, I need someone to clean out Maggie’s litter box!  Ha ha haha.

Wiggy flips off CatFight as she helps Nova to the back!  The crowd loves Wiggys response and shouts down CatFight both publicly and on social media for besmirching Wiggy!  It should be noted this is the first huge loss for WIGGY’S WOMEN™.  CatFight leaves the ring, oblivious to the boos of the crowd as she looks into the bag at the 50,500 credits she’s just won.

Star Warrior (II) stumbles his way to the ring to the clamoring indifference of the crowd!  The lights go out and a glowing orb appears and makes it’s way to ringside.  The lights come back and it’s Oracle leading PSI to the ring.  Once both wrestlers are in the ring, Euritar presses the Randomizer button.  A whirr, a chug, a ding and Euritar reads from the card.

EURITAR:  Cosmic Cage Match!

The crowd lets out a cheer as the cage materializes around the ring.  The bell sounds and away…we…go…

PSI d. Star Warrior (II) by escaping the cage after a perfect cross body block Star Warrior (II) can’t get up from – *** – PSI dominates, but it’s not hard when your opponent is dead on his feet drunk.  A much needed win for the mentalist!

The cage disappears and fans turn their gaze to the entrance way as out comes Overtime and Lord Nexus to huge cheers!  They head ringside, giving high fives to the fans along the walkway.  The Aethran War Anthem begins playing and out, to huge boos, is Minister of War and Magnus the Magnanimous.  Nitro stops Magnus in the aisle.

NITRO:  Magnus, how are you going to interfere in the match tonight if there’s a stipulation that bars you from ringside.

MAGNUS:  First of all, it’s not interfering, it’s protecting my investment.  Secondly, stipulation matches are where Minister of War thrives.  In fact, if Euritar wasn’t such a spineless wimp and allowed stipulation matches ALL the time for EVERY match, Minister of War would be champion!  Now shut up and out of our way!

The two Future Shock members make their way to the ring.  This is a direct rematch from The Reckoning where Minister of War put an end to Overtime’s advancement in that Ranking Gauntlet.

Euritar presses the Randomizer button and a whirr and a ding later he reads the card aloud…

EURITAR:  Barbed Wire Comic Cage!

The crowd lets out an audible gasp, as one.  Overtime swallows nervously as Minister of Wars stretches out his arms and the cage reappears, this time completely lined in barbed wire.  The camera’s mic picks up Minister of War’s laughing.

MINISTER OF WAR:  You ready to bleed boy?  I hope so.

The bell sounds and Minister of War dives across the ring at Overtime!

Overtime d. Minister of War via escape after hitting OVERTIME RULES on a piece of broken barbed wire – ***** – Overtime get s a HUGE win here!  Minister of War controlled in the early goings but got too cocky and Overtime took over and get the win!  Medics rushed to ringside, with Magnus yelling at them to pick up the pace, and carried Minister of War out on a stretcher.  His leg looks bad.

DEMON HUNTERS make their way ringside to the cheers of the Mercurian crowd.  Crossfire has his bow, but it looks like HelSin is holding onto the arrows, keeping Crossfire from shooting any off as they get near the ring.  Crossfire has lost a few matches recently thanks to interfering with an arrow!  Magnus the Magnanimous is back out, his suit still covered in Minister of War’s blood!  He leads DESERTERS ringside!

Euritar hits the button on the randomizer and there is a whirr and an ding.

EURITAR:  Lava Pit Match!

The fans watch in awe as the ring disappears and a hole opens in the bottom of the arena revealing a Lava Pit the wrestlers are lowered down into!  No matter where you are sitting, you can feel the heat from the lava around the pit and the ref signals for the bell!  Tharkas demands to start…

THARKAS:  This is MY match Traitor.  Step aside!

Traitor nods and falls back as Tharkas approaches HelSin for the start!

DESERTERS d. DEMON HUNTERS when Adam Traitor escapes the pit after a Traitor Missile – SQUASH – Dominating win here for DESERTERS!  Tharkas and Adam Traitor kept HelSin away from tagging crossfire and dominated the Draconian to get the win!  DEMON HUNTERS continue the worst current losing streak in the league.

The arena floor closes once the wrestlers are transported out and the ring returns to the center of the floor.

The Leveler appears and leads Aethran Overmaster towards the ring!  Overmaster desperate for ANY win here as recently he’s been on a losing streak.  His opponent, out to huge cheers and looking to put himself in GALAXIAN TITLE contention, is Bex!  Once both men are in the ring, they look towards Euritar who pushes the Randomizer button.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR:  Turnbuckle Shock Match!

The crowd cheers.  Bex and Overmaster watch as the Turnbuckles are energized.  The bell rings!

Bex d. Aethran Overmaster via submission with GROUND ZERO – *** – Except for a brief bail by Overmaster when Bex was delivering a blistering offense, both men kept the action in the middle of the ring and neither went into the turnbuckles!  Bex gets a HUGE win here and it would seem he’s proved he can be a contender.  He grabs the mic and pints to the crowd.

BEX:  This win was for all of you!  But I know I still need to make good for what I was part of in Black Death, so again, all my winnings tonight will be donated to the Black Death Foundation for treatment of those affected.  Thank you.

Bex gets a standing ovation as he leaves the ring.  Overmaster is ringside and he is not happy!  He barks orders at Leveler as the two stomp out.

The arena cheers loudly as ULTIMATE FIGHTERS make their way to the ring, doing their crazy arm movements and fake head butting the kids at ringside.  She Devil accompanies them.  The light go out and Oracle’s blue orb heads to the ring as he leads THE TWO down for their match!  When lights are restored, Euritar hits the Randomizer button. Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR:  Nightmare Matrix!

A transparent box appears around the ring as She Devil and Oracle step back and head away from ringside!  Clinch will start with Sur in the middle of the ring.

THE TWO d. ULTIMATE FIGHTERS via pinfall when Ghena hits Shoot with GATES OF HELL – ***** – A hell of a match!  All four men were bloody by the end.  Reluctant MVP award goes to Sur who simply refused to tag in Ghena until the very end.  The strategy worked, however as Ghena was able to come in and mop up what was left of Shoot and Clinch.

Oracle appears again, leading Eydilon to the ring!  The fans get pumped because they know this is a huge grudge match they are about to see!  The crowd explodes with cheers as Paganax makes his way to ringside!  This is the first time these two will meet since Eydilon stabbed Paganax with his own flaming sword!  The two stalk each other int he ring as Euritar hits the Randomizer button.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR: Lava Pit Match!

The crowd is confused as they’ve already seen a Lava Pit Match and Eydilon is beside himself, yelling up to Euritar that this is all rigged in Paganax’s favor!  Euritar gets on the mic.

EURITAR:  Random is random!  That means the same match can come up twice!

Pagans is smiling wickedly at Eydilon!  Talk about the home field advantage!  The Heathen Chief soaks in the warmth of the Lava Pit and the bell rings!  Paganax lunges at Eydilon!

Eydilon d. Paganax by escaping after hitting MISTS OF EYDILON (+5) – ***** – Paganax was moments from escaping the pit when Nosfera and Oracle appeared and began throwing rocks at the heathen chief, sending him tumbling back down into the pit where Eydilon took control and got the win.  The crowd is furious at these tactics.  Eydilon shrugs.

NITRO:  Come on, Eydilon!  Three on one is hardly fair!

EYDILON: No rules were broken.  Everything that happened was legal wishing the confines of the match rules!

The crowd boos loudly as Eydilon leaves, Nosfera and Oracle following behind.  Paganax staggers out of the pit as the floor of the arena closes and the ring returns.

ANIMEN REVENGE head to the ring to the cheers of the crowd!  Nitro catches them in the aisle and questions Panther Warrior’s partner.

NITRO:  Panther Warrior mentioned you were upset recently because your information was revealed in a InfiNet website hack.  I did a little digging.  Your info was revealed from the big infidelity website, wasn’t it?  That sure explains the rift between you and Payback.

Panther Warrior’s partner says nothing but his look says it all.  Panther Warrior leans over and grabs the mic.

PANTHER WARRIOR:  Nitro, not a good time!

ANIMEN REVENGE head to the ring and Panther Warrior’s partner looks even angrier than usual.  Their opponents head to the ring with Magnus the Magnanimous, it’s Tricks & Mayhem Unleashed, THE OUTCASTS!  They enter the ring and Euritar hits the Randomizer.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR:  Mensa Table Match!

Instantly tables appear around the ring!  Looks like Tricks will start with Panther Warrior’s Partner.  The bell rings!

ANIMEN REVENGE d. OUTCASTS via submission after Panther Warrior’s partner locks Tricks in the WASP TRAP – **** – Panther Warrior’s partner was fuming after Nitro’s questions and he took it all out on Tricks, slamming the clown through FOUR tables and then locking on the WASP TRAP for the win!  Dominat victory, but many in the crowd believe that Panther Warrior’s partner’s anger is a admission that his information was, in fact, revealed in the hack!  Reporters began investigating immediately.

The crowd lights up when Wiggy heads to the ring with both GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION Fhanna and her challenger Taichi.  In a seldom seen move, the opponents come down the aisle together.  They get in the ring.  Wiggy gets the mic.

WIGGY:  Euritar, I’m asking you, as a citizen of the galaxy, as someone who is decent and good, please don’t assign a violent stipulation to this match.  These two women are friends and, while they are eager to compete against each other, there’s no bad blood between them.  I’m asking you, make it a TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH or an IRON WOMAN MATCH, just nothing violent like a BARBED WIRE COSMIC CAGE or TURNBUCKLE SHOCK MATCH.

EURITAR: Wiggy, I understand your plight, but this is Random Acts of Violence!

The crowd cheers.

EURITAR:  The consolation is that both of those matches, TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS and IRON WOMAN MATCH are loaded into the Randomizer, so it is possible one of them will come up.  But, by the rules of the evening, Fhanna and Taichi are bound to abide by whatever the result is.

Euritar presses the button on the Randomizer and it whirrs and chugs and dings.  Euritar takes the card and reads it.  His eyes go wide.

EURITAR:  Four Weapons of Destruction!

The crowd gasps, again, as the chain, stun rods, barbed wire and electric shock turnbuckles appear!  Wiggy rolls out of the ring as the bell rings.  The two women nervously shake hands.  This…is…happening!

Taichi d. Fhanna via submission with the KNEE BAR – ** – Wow fans!  This one was over in a nanosecond!  The two women circled each other and then Fhanna grabbed Taichi and went to whip her into the barbed wire!  Taichi reversed it and it was Fhanna who kissed the barbs!  Taichi locked on the Knee Bar and Fhanna, so worried about the blood now pouring from her face, tapped immediately.  Taichi is the NEW GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION!

At the sound of the bell, Taichi breaks the hold and bends down to tend to Fhanna.  Wiggy rushes into the ring to help and pulls Taichi away from Fhanna.  She glares back at Taichi, now holding the belt handed to her by the referee.

WIGGY:  How could you do this?

TAICHI:  Me?! She tried to whip me into the wire first!

WIGGY:  Look what you’ve done to her!  We are supposed to help each other, not hurt each other!

Taichi throws up her hands and leaves the ring.  Wiggy stays with Fhanna as medics tend to her and take her from ringside.

Things are not well in the WIGGY’S WOMEN™ camp tonight!

The Leveler leads Turmoil to the ring as the Aethran War Anthem plays loudly throughout the arena.  The fan’s ridiculing almost drown it out.  His opponent, out with Lord Nexus, the INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION, Perfect Specimen!  A rematch here from THE RECKONING!  Perfect Specimen looking to prove his win was not a fluke.

Euritar hits the Randomizer.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR:  Milky Way Falls Count Anywhere Match!

Turmoil smiles and rubs his hands together as the pair circle each other.  The bell sounds.

Perfect Specimen d. Turmoil via pinfall after PINNACLE OF SUCCESS in the middle of the ring – ****** – Fans were on their feet!  Perfect Specimen dominated!  Turmoil got in a move to two here or there, but the momentum always swung back towards the Titan!  Defiantly not a fluke champion here tonight!

Turmoil brings the second loss to the Gladiators tonight!  As he leaves the ring, he comes face to face with Probation and Fist who are on their way to the ring to defend the GALAXIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS.  They look at Turmoil with disgust and walk right past him to join Leveler in the ring.

TITAN FURY is out next to challenge for the titles and the crowd is hoping that tonight they can win the belts from the GLADIATORS!

Euritar hits the Randomizer when everyone is in the ring.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR:  Ruins of Antilla Match!

Whoa!  All four men are taken aback as none of them are experienced with this type of warfare.  Big stone ruins appear around the ring as the wrestlers look on.  The bell sounds!

GLADIATORS d. TITAN FURY via pinfall when Fist hits Kenji with WEAPONS – **** – This one was close but the GLADIATORS dominated and get the win!  Leveler and Lord Nexus got involved, but the action stayed in the ring, never once tumbling out into the Ruins.  Fans disappointed by that and the outcome boo Fist and Probation who don’t seem to care in the slightest.

Excitement is at a fever pitch as it’s now time for the main event!  Out first to huge cheers is Monolith who is wearing an #AniManLives Matter shirt as an armband, obviously a nod to his injured friend Plethador.  He stands in the center of the ring as his opponent, the GALAXIAN CHAMPION is introduced.  Chaos Supreme makes his way ringside with Magnus the Magnanimous in tow.  The two giants stand in the ring, nose to nose, which is an impressive sight to see.  Euritar hits the button on the Randomizer for the last time this evening.  Whirr, chug, ding!

EURITAR: Mensa Tables Match!

The crowd cheers as tables once again materialize around the ring.  This one promises to be violent!  Magnus bails out of the ring as the bell sounds!  Here we go!

Chaos Supreme d. Monolith via submission with BOW OF DEFEAT – ***1/2 – The fans are in shock as Chaos Supreme dominates the match completely!  After the bell Chaos Supreme refuses to release the hold!  The ref repeatedly calls for the bell but Chaos Supreme holds on and Magnus attempts to distract the referee form braking the hold!

Suddenly, Bex charges the ring and delivers a flying drop to Chaos Supreme to get him to release the hold!  Chaos Supreme tumbles out of the ring landing directly on top of Magnus!  The fans are going nuts!  Bex stands in the ring next to Monolith who has now tumbled to the mat.  Bex stares at Chaos Supreme as he grabs the GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP and leaves ringside.  Bex turns to Monolith and extends a hand to help him up.  Monolith rolls out of the ring and walks away from the ring without looking back.

Bex stands in the middle of the ring watching him walk away as we…


– Minister of War will miss 4 cards due to his leg injury.
– Nitro has confirmed that Bex donated all his winnings to the Black Death Foundation and concludes he no longer needs to investigate this every time Bex wrestles.

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