The Galaxy's Finest™

Live from Glacier Sound, Pluto!

The show opens with a shot of the ring and FIST who gets a huge cheer from the CROWD.  Usually not fans of the Aethrans, the CROWD was swayed by FIST’S performance at ROUND UP!  He is joined in the ring by AETHRAN OVERMASTER, PROBATION and THE LEVELER.

FIST:  Shayne!  I fought my way through over 30 men to get a title shot!  A title shot YOU ran away from because you know that I’m the man that can beat you.  So get out here and let me destroy you for MY title.

SLY DRURY appears with MEAN STREETS behind him.

SLY DRURY:  I’m sorry.  You had your chance at the title and you couldn’t get it done.  Besides, Shayne isn’t even here tonight!  He’s off doing charity work.  Since you’re all fired up though, you’ll have a match tonight, in the MAIN EVENT!  Gladiators versus Mean Streets!  And when my boys are done with you, you won’t even remember Shayne’s name!

The CROWD is unhappy and they let DRURY know it.  He shrugs and leaves with PATCH and SKIVER following.  After a moment, the GLADIATORS all storm from the ring.

CATFIGHT heads to the ring with MAGGIE.  Her head is closely shaved.  She has a nose ring now as well.  She grabs the mic from NITRO.

CATFIGHT:  Why is no one talking about Panther Warrior?  Has gun violence become so commonplace through the galaxy no one ever thinks of it as abnormal that people are getting killed by guns every single day?  If all our government and the president can do is send thoughts and prayers, then it’s time for the victims to be the change we need to see.  To buy a gun you do not need a permit, you do not need a gun license, and once you buy it you do not need to register it. You do not need a permit to carry a concealed phaser or lasergun. You can buy as many guns as you want at one time.  It’s time for that to change and you can trust me, you’re going to read about me in history books because I’m going to get those laws changed.

This speech gets a lukewarm response from the CROWD as CATFIGHT gets in the ring for her match.

Catfight d. Fhanna via pinfall with FELINE FURY (+6) – *1/2 – CATFIGHT is fired up and gets a strong, dominant victory over FHANNA who is left sprawled out in the middle of the ring.  CATFIGHT grabs the mic and dedicates the victory to PANTHER WARRIOR and all the victims of gun violence across the galaxy.

FHANNA is barely able to stand as TOTALIS, THE TOURNAMENT MASTER heads to the ring.  She walks past him and he grabs her arm.

TOTALIS:  Whoa, whoa, whoa…where you going?  You’re my valet, so valet!

He shakes her roughly and spins her back around towards the ring.  FHANNA does not look well.  TOTALIS climbs into the ring to await his opponent, FALLER.

Faller d. Totalis, the Tournament Master via DQ when Totalis, the Tournament Master attempted to use Title Quest – * – TOTALIS, THE TOURNAMENT MASTER tried to bend the rules and got caught for it.  He argues with the ref after the bell and leaves the ring in a huff.  FHANNA, barely able to walk, is helped out by FALLER and LORD NEXUS.

BETTER THAN HUMAN d. ULTIMATE FIGHTERS via pinfall when Tharkas covers Clinch after COUNCIL OF WAR – ** – Huge with for BETTER THAN HUMAN here!  They dominated ULTIMATE FIGHTERS from the opening bell.

THARKAS:  You see what jut happened?  We put those arm waving super freaks in their place.  PSI and I have been doing some research and did you know that before ULTIMATE FIGHTERS came to THE GALAXY’S FINEST™ as the arm waving idiots you know them as today, they were known as the ULTIMATE SHEPHERDS in indie feds across the galaxy?  Supposedly they were more vicious than they are now.  Well, I can tell you what, we defeated them one, two, three so they can go back to whatever they were doing to those poor sheep before they got here.  Tell ‘em PSI!

PSI:  That’s right Tharkas, we just dismantled the number one tag team around, so that can mean only one thing…it’s time for our title shot!  Book it Drury!

The CROWD boos loudly as BETTER THAN HUMAN strutted off.

Shann-Ra d. Taichi via pinfall after AMBUSCADE – **1/2 – Great come from behind victory by SHANN-RA in this fast paced match-up.

BURNING MAN and BISHOP HELL (II) appeared in the ring in a column of fire.  BURNING MAN had a mic.  As DEMON HUNTERS made their way to the ring, BURNING MAN started talking, a rare occurrence.  His voice is nothing more than an eerie whisper.

BURNING MAN: crossfire.  i know you come from an alternate timeline.  i know you know what happened to you in this timeline.  I have consulted with bishop hell and the truth must be known.  you were killed in this timeline as all crossfires in all timeline must be killed.  to save the universe from ending.  your return to this timeline is the cause for all the upheaval.  all the turmoil felt throughout the galaxy.  and for that you must be killed.  as all crossfires must be killed.  and all crossfires in all timelines must be killed at the hands of one from brymstone.  so the duty falls to me.  do not fear death.  it must come to all crossfires.  and tonight it comes for you.  tonight crowsfire, you d—

CROSSFIRE charged the ring and tackles BURNING MAN.  The ref called for the bell.

DEMON HUNTERS d. BURNING HELL when Crossfire pins Burning Man after a moonsault – **1/2 – The CROWD was on their feet as CROSSFIRE was a ball of energy.  So enraged by BURNING MAN’S words, he single handedly achieved the victory for his team.  After the bell, CROSSFIRE continued to wail away on BURNING MAN.  HELSIN had to pull CROSSFIRE off of him as BISHOP HELL (II) dragged BURNING MAN away.  This is going to be an interesting feud to say the least.

The next match was ordered by SLY DRURY!  He demanded that KILL PREY face his CENTRAL COMMAND partner, NOSFERA or both would be suspended!  NOSFERA didn’t really care, KILL PREY was furious.

Kill Prey d. Nosfera via pinfall after Soften Up Prey – ***1/2 – NOSFERA dominated in the early goings, but KILL PREY made a quick comeback to get the win.  SLY DRURY’S plan to keep CENTRAL COMMAND busy and out of his hair.

The CROWD was on their feet for the MAIN EVENT as GLADIATORS and MEAN STREETS headed to the ring.  SKIVER was shoving FHANNA ahead of him.  She still looked worse for wear and barely able to stand.  She stumbled and SKIVER grabbed her roughly and shoved her into the ring post, yelling at her to snap out of her daze.  FIST would start with PATCH.

GLADIATORS d. MEAN STREETS via DQ when Patch clobbers Probation with a sledgehammer – **1/2 – Of course, a brawl from the opening bell!  This one was wild!  In a shock, PATCH really began grinding PROBATION down and got several near falls.  PATCH asked if SKIVER wanted to tag in at one point and SKIVER refused, preferring to chastise FHANNA for some reason.  FHANNA was out of it and barely looked conscious.  The ref calls for the bell when PATCH smashed PROBATION with a sledgehammer.  This begins a wild brawl.  All four men clobbering each other!  SECURITY floods the ring!  In the mayhem, fans are shocked to see FALLER sneak to ringside and gingerly pick up FHANNA and carry her away from the ring.  It’s this bizarre image we see as we…

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