CARD 2131.300 – BIG BANG 2131
Live from Deimos Intergalactic Arena, Deimos
Commentary: Trent Lawless
This. Is. It. The fans are on their feet as EURITAR welcomes everyone to BIG BANG 2131! THE premier event in THE premier Wrestling Federation in the Galaxy! Tonight is big night of action, including the tremendous MAIN EVENT where GALAXIAN CHAMPION Chaos Supreme will defend his title against Nosfera! Not a match up anyone would have ever thought they’d see headline BIG BANG, but there is a feeling in the air that something legendary will happen tonight.
The crowd cheers loudly as the bouncy, thumping music of ULTIMATE FIGHTERS begins to play and Shoot and Clinch head to the ring doing their patented arm motions and fake headbutting kids in the crowd! Tag Team action will be the first of twelve huge matches the galaxy will witness tonight. ULTIMATE FIGHTERS playfully stomp around the ring as they await their opponents.
The crowd begins booing as Magnus the Magnanimous leads OUTCASTS to the ring. Things do not look well in the OUTCASTS’ camp as the team of Mayhem Unleashed and Tricks have struggled to gain any traction all year. They are currently the lowest ranked tag team on the roster and the two are bickering with each other as they head to the ring. Magnus is trying to keep them focused but looks like he’s fighting a losing battle.
Looks like Clinch will start in the ring with Tricks and the bell sounds!
OUTCASTS d. ULTIMATE FIGHTERS via DQ when Clinch hits Tricks with a steel chair at ringside – DUD – The fans boo both teams loudly as the match ends in disqualification. Clinch came out against Tricks like a dynamo and Tricks bailed and began running around the ring like a lunatic to keep away from Clinch. Clinch stopped chasing Tricks, but Tricks kept running and as he came around the ring again, Clinch leveled the clown with a chair and the DQ was called. Mayhem Unleashed, who never even got involved, threw his hands up in the air and left ringside while Magnus attempted to scrape Tricks up off the concrete floor. Clinch and Shoot had a good laugh that the seat of the chair now had a perfect replica of Trick’s face where the clown’s makeup had come in contact with it. They gave it to a lucky kid at ringside and took their leave.
Rousing campaign music begins playing and out comes Dark Menace with Balaal. Balaal sports a DM2132 shirt and follows proudly behind Dark Menace as they head to the ring. Dark Menace attempts to shake hands but there are not takers in the crowd who boo loudly for the presidential candidate.
The boos turn to cheers as Lord Nexus appears and leads Overtime to the ring. Nitro catches them in the aisle.
NITRO: Lord Nexus, I wanted to ask your opinion on Dark Menace’s candidacy for President of the UFSP.
LORD NEXUS: Now, this might come as a surprise to some folks, but I actually think he’s pretty much the perfect politician.
The crowd is shocked at these words. In the ring, Dark Menace gets a big smile on his face.
LORD NEXUS: Sure! I mean look, he’s already hanging around with snakes just like any other politician in the galaxy!
The crowd laughs loudly and Dark Menace is furious! He yells at Nexus as Overtime chases him from the ring so the match can begin.
Overtime d. Balaal via DQ when Balaal starts choking out Overtime with the Dark Menace campaign shirt – DUD – Dark Menace ordered Balaal to destroy Overtime in retaliation for Lord Nexus’ comments and Balaal when right to work, taking off his campaign shirt, wrapping it around Overtime’s neck and choking him out, ignoring the ref’s warnings. After the bell, Lord Nexus decked Balaal, getting him to release the hold and chased the snake out of the ring. As Balaal and Dark Menace retreated, laughing, Lord Nexus called for the mic…
LORD NEXUS: MENACE! I promise you this! You and that snake will pay for what you’ve done here and I promise you, you ain’t never gonna be president!
The crowd cheered loudly. Lord Nexus helped Overtime to the back. Overtime looked shaken, but there didn’t seem to be any serious damage from the attack.
Without war paint. Without armor. Without The Leveler. Aethran Overmaster, in simple black trunks, makes his way to the ring. He climbs inside and holds out a hand. Nitro runs a mic in to him and then quickly leaves.
OVERMASTER: Tonight, Aethran Dominance begins anew. Tonight I reclaim my heritage. Tonight, I decimate Minister of War!
The crowd lets out a gasp as, for the first time in months, Overmaster has spoken and he’s called out Minister of War. After a few tense minutes, Minister of War appears, smiling sadistically of course, with Magnus the Magnanimous in tow. This match is about to happen!
Aethran Overmaster d. Minister of War via DQ when Minister of War brains Overmaster with Magnus’ briefcase – ***** – An amazing match that saw Aethran Overmaster simply dominate Minister of War. By the end, Minister of War was a bloody pulp but he still had the strength to grab Magnus’ briefcase and get himself DQ’d. The fans boo loudly at the third DQ of the night. Minister of War and Magnus slink away from ringside as Overmaster lets out an eerie primal scream in the center of the ring. Looks like Overmaster has found a new streak of violence.
Speaking of violence, technicians come out to begins assembling the giant Cosmic Cage for our next encounter that will see Paganax finally getting Eydilon alone in a place where no one can interfere on his behalf!
Paganax charges to the ring, focused, brandishing his flaming sword and staring intently at the, now caged in, ring. The fans are cheering loudly but Paganax is in such a zone he is not reacting to their cheers. He climbs into the cage and holds his flaming sword aloft to the cheers of the fans. With a flourish, the sword extinguishes and he hands it to the referee. He walks to each side of the cage in turn and tests the strength of each wall. Satisfied, he stands in the middle of the ring awaiting his opponent.
The lights go out and Oracle’s glowing orb appears as he leads Eydilon to the ring. Eydilon is scowling and looks like he is not in too much of a hurry to get into the ring. In fact, once he hits the ringside area, he starts stalling and teases entering the ring. The ref is yelling at Eydilon to get in the ring but he keeps yelling back that he wants Paganax to back up. Paganax is not amused.
Tentatively, Eydilon enters the ring and it was all an act! Paganax has his back to Eydilon when he enters the ring and Eydilon charges him before the ref can even get the door closed and slams the Heathen Chief’s head into the cage! The ref calls for the bell and this grudge match is on!
COSMIC CAGE MATCH
Eydilon d. Paganax via escape after knocking Paganax out with Levitation – ***** – This one certainly delivered on it’s promised intensity, but the outcome is not what the fans wanted to see. Paganax never really recovered from having his head slammed into the cage and, though he fought bravely, was no match for Eydilon’s technical skill.
After the bell, Eydilon shouted back into the cage at Paganax saying that the two of them are done and there wouldn’t be another rematch! Eydilon leaves laughing to the thunderous disapproval of the fans.
Lord Nexus is out next with TITAN SAMURAI and the three men get huge cheers from the crowd. Nitro catches them in the aisle.
NITRO: Tonight, you have THE DESERTERS.
LORD NEXUS: We do, we do and my men and I are out here with one intention, to rid the GALAXY’S FINEST™ of these racist scum!
The crowd loves this.
LORD NEXUS: People are focused on the end of 2131, but The Titans are focused on the beginning of 2132 and we want to make it a year to remember, so tonight our goal is to break THE DESERTERS so they aren’t around to spread their filth in the GWF any longer!
Again, the crowd cheers loudly and TITAN SAMURAI head to the ring.
The fans do a 180 as Magnus The Magnanimous leads Adam Traitor and Tharkas to the ring. Nitro stops them in the aisle.
NITRO: I just wanted to give you a chance to respond to Lord Nexus’ comments.
Adam Traitor kicks Nitro in the groin and Tharkas spits on him loudly.
They step over his crumpled form and head to the ring. Looks like Adam Traitor will start with Giant Azuma.
TITAN SAMURAI d. DESERTERS via DQ when Adam Traitor storms the ring for a pin save when Kenji had Tharkas in the ANKLE LOCK – *1/2 – This one was all TITAN SAMURAI from the opening bell! Giant Azuma and Kenji used quick tags to just unleash a barrage of offense on DESERTERS. It ended when Adam Traitor decided he’d take a loss to prove a point! It backfired though as he came face to face with a fist from Giant Azuma after the bell! The fans were rabid for this one and cheered loudly as the Titans chased Magnus and his men from ringside! After the match, the TITANS shook hands and waved to the fans as they left ringside. This was just as good as a win to the hometown crowd!
Monolith is out to huge cheers. The Ani-Man strides to the ring and steps over the top rope. He glares at the entrance awaiting his opponent, Prime Colonizer. Prime Colonizer appears and the fans boo loudly. He is alone, without Lope, as he marches to the ring. These two hate each other and this match, a SCORPI KING OF THE RING MATCH, was a stipulation Prime Colonizer instead on if the two were to meet again. The fans are eager for this one.
SCORPI KING OF THE RING MATCH
Monolith d. Prime Colonizer by tossing him out of the ring after he missed the SIMIAN SKULLCRUSHER – ***** – The arena erupts with cheers as Monolith tosses Prime Colonizer out of the ring! Monolith dominated this match but had a bit of trouble throwing his foe out of the ring. After several attempts to do so, Prime Colonizer started fighting back, weakening the big man. Prime Colonizer missed a SIMIAN SKULLCRUSHER and Monolith used that opportunity to toss the ape out of the ring!
Monolith stands victorious in the middle of the ring and raises his hands high soaking in the cheers of the crowd. Suddenly, Plethador and ANIMEN REVENGE head to the ring at full sprint to congratulate Monolith. Nitro hops in the ring with them.
NITRO: Monolith, a dominant performance here and what a way to cap off the year long feud with Prime Colonizer and his various incarnations of the ANI-MEN.
Monolith says nothing but Plethador grabs the mic.
PLETHADOR: Let me tell you something, baby. The Ani-Men are firing on all cylinders going into 2132! The big man just put the nail in the coffin of Prime Colonizer and, in mere moments, Panther Warrior and his partner will wipe the floor with THE TWO! The Ani-Men have never been a tighter unit. We are all on the same page. It’s kinda like, imagine you lost your very favorite backpack. It had all your favorite stuff in it but, suddenly, it’s gone. You’re upset man, you’re brokenhearted. But then your friends, your bros, step up and they buy you a brand new backpack and replace all the stuff inside of it! I mean, your bros replace everything you thought you lost because, baby, they’re your bros! And then, the moment you have that new backpack on, someone finds your old backpack! Now you have two backpacks! Two backpacks and the best bros in the world! That feeling is what we’re all feeling right now! Like we got two backpacks and the best bros in the world!
The crowd cheers and begins shouting ‘TWO BACKPACKS! TWO BACKPACKS!’ as the Ani-Men continue to celebrate. Their celebration is cut short when the lights go out and a glowing blue orb appears at the entrance. Oracle is leading THE TWO to the ring. It appears Monolith will be staying at ringside for this next match along with Plethador.
Panther Warrior’s partner will start against Sur.
THE TWO d. ANIMEN REVENGE via DQ when Monolith storms the ring and the ANIMEN begin a savage beatdown on THE TWO – * – Whoa fans! What happened here?! It was a pretty good, back and forth match, when suddenly Plethador gave a shrill whistle and Monolith, Panther Warrior (who was not the legal man) and Plethador all piled into the ring and began a beatdown on both Sur and Ghena! The ref called for the bell, but the ANIMEN refused to stop. All four men continued to beat on Sur and Ghena until neither man was moving. Officials finally came to the ring and cleared the ANIMEN out. As they were being ushered to the back, Panther Warrior’s partner began yelling, “That’s for what you did to me, Sur! That’s for what you did to me! I found out it was you!”
Fans and officials were at a loss as to what this all meant but one thing is for certain, this is a much more incredibly aggressive action by ANIMEN OF ANDROMEDA group than we have ever seen in the history of THE GALAXY’S FINEST™! Certainly ending the year on a vicious note! Two backpacks indeed!
As THE TWO are helped to the back by Raglan and Flagyl, the ring crew comes out and starts assembling the BARBED WIRE COSMIC CAGE. As they do, a HoloVision package is shown detailing the long and storied rivalry between Wolf and Shayne. Many experts are saying that win lose or draw, Wolf may pull one of his disappearing acts like he has in year’s past. You can be sure, he’ll be looking to go out on a win!
The sound of a doboro begins and out comes Shayne on his horse! The fans are on their feet, cheering loudly as the cowboy rides to the ring, shooting his six shooter in the air.
Then, a lone cry is heard…
Wolf. Is. Here.
He is looking more savage than ever! There’s shades of Lope in him tonight for sure. He climbs into the ring and stares eye to eye to Shayne. The ref closes the door and calls for the bell! The fans let out a roar of approval!
BARBED WIRE COSMIC CAGE MATCH
Shayne d. Wolf via pinfall after SHOWDOWN – **** – The bell rang, Shayne whipped Wolf into the barbed wire the hit him with not one but two back to back SHOWDOWNs minutes after the opening bell! That is all it took to leave Wolf a bloody wreck in the middle of the ring! The crowd is apoplectic! Shayne climbs out of the cage over the top and makes a gesture as if he’s washing his hands of Wolf and the crowd loves it! They cheer him all the way back to the entrance.
Wolf remains on the mat even as the ring crew removes the cage. Finally, he stirs and is able to walk from ringside under his own power.
Suddenly, the crowd goes bananas! The cameras turn towards the entrance and there, standing with her arms raised high, is the most popular superstar on the roster…
The fans are cheering her name loudly and she soaks it all in! After a beat, she turns towards the entrance and out comes GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION Taichi! The crowd cheers louder! The champ is followed by the rest of WIGGY’S WOMEN: Nova, She-Devil, Scorn and, with her face still covered with a veil, Fhanna. They stand in a line behind Wiggy as the crowd is giving them a standing ovation. Wiggy signals her stable and they begins walking to ringside.
Nitro tries to ask them a question, but Scorn stands between Nitro and Wiggy and shoves him back, ripping the mic out of his hand. She hands the mic to Wiggy and the six women climb up into the ring. This only makes the cheering louder.
WIGGY: This is BIG BANG!
The crowd roars approval.
WIGGY: And you know, it’s only right that I, Wiggy, the woman who singlehandedly changed the face of women’s wrestling in the galaxy, end the year with a real BANG! Tonight, the last holdout, the last female on the GALAXY’S FINEST™ roster to not join WIGGY’S WOMEN, CatFight gets a shot at Taichi’s championship. And that’s what’s happening here, right now!
Again, the crowd roars in approval.
WIGGY: But what you don’t know is the terms that were agreed to. So CatFight, why don’t you bring your scrawny butt out here and we’ll inform the fans as to what you agreed to to get this title shot.
There’s a beat and suddenly, out comes CatFight. The fans show their disapproval of her but she seems like she could care less. Confidently, she strides to the ring and climbs up into it, getting right into Wiggy’s face. The rest of WIGGY’S WOMEN begin to rush forward but Wiggy waves them off.
WIGGY: No, no, It’s fine. Listen CatBox, you’d better back up because I don’t kiss unless you buy me dinner first.
The crowd doubles over in laughter.
WIGGY: Fans, tonight you’ll see CatFight here go for the GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP. If she can, somehow, defeat Taichi here, she will become the new GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPION. If, as is likely, she chokes and loses, according to the contract, she MUST join WIGGY’S WOMEN for the entirety of 2132. This is what you agreed to, isn’t it sweet cheeks?
CatFight nods, not breaking her stare.
WIGGY: Yes, yes. But also, this match is going to be a special match. It’s going to be a HYDRA LUMBERJACK MATCH!
The fans cheer.
WIGGY: And, the lumberjacks…and I can’t believe you agreed to this CatBox, the lumberjacks will be made up, solely of WIGGY’S WOMEN!
There’s a gasp from the crowd.
WIGGY: That’s right, that means, you got no friends out here CatBox! And let’s get something clear, they are lumberjacks, NOT lumberjanes! Women can be lumberjacks too so don’t marginalize us by calling us a derogatory name like Lumberjanes. Now, CatBox, are you ready? I hope so, because when you lose tonight, you will be, basically, my slave. I’m glad you have so much experience cleaning up after your big tiger because when you lose, and you will lose here tonight, I may just start using a bedpan so you can clean up after me too.
The crowd laughs wildly while applauding Wiggy’s antics.
WIGGY: So let’s get this bloodbath started! Ladies…
The rest of WIGGY’S WOMEN step out of the ring and spread out around it. Taichi and CatFight circle each other and the ref calls for the bell.
GWF WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
HYDRA LUMBERJACK MATCH
(If CatFight loses, she must join WIGGY’S WOMEN for the entirety of 2132)
Taichi d. CatFight via submission with a KNEE BAR – *** – Both women had the advantage at different points, but Taichi locked in the KNEE BAR making CatFight tap in the center of the ring. Taichi retains her belt and Wiggy and the rest of WIGGY’S WOMEN flood the ring and stand around CatFight who looks up at them defiantly. Wiggy still has the microphone.
WIGGY: And now, WIGGY’S WOMEN is complete! Isn’t that right CatBox?
CatFight slowly gets up to her feet, favoring the leg that Taichi had in the KNEE BAR.
WIGGY: I want to hear you say it! After all these months, I want to hear the words trickle out of your pretty little lips. Say you are now a member of WIGGY’S WOMEN.
CatFight hangs her head and shakes it. Then she nods and lifts her head to position her mouth at the microphone Wiggy is shoving in her face.
CATFIGHT: I am now a member of WIGGY’S WOMEN.
The crowd lets out a roar of approval. Wiggy still holds the microphone up to CatFight and is screaming at her to say it again.
CATFIGHT: I am a member of WIGGY’S WOMEN. Or at least I would be. If it still existed.
WIGGY: Still existed, what are you—
Suddenly, all of the women in the ring begin beating Wiggy! Nova, Scorn, She-Devil, even Taichi all begin pummeling the manager! Fhanna is particularly vicious, removing her veil and screaming at Wiggy that it is her fault her face looks like this! CatFight takes extra special care in delivering blow after blow to Wiggy’s face. Then, in turn, they all hit finishers on Wiggy! Nova with STAR BRIGHT! She-Devil with FALLEN DEVIL! Scorn with BURNING SCORN! Fhanna with the most devastating version of THE OTHER WOMEN the GALAXY’S FINEST™ has ever seen! The women turn to Taichi signaling for her turn, but the champ shakes her head and, with her belt around her waist, leaves the ring. Finally, CatFight sets Wiggy up for FELINE FURY and hits it hard! Wiggy is left lifeless in the middle of the ring.
CatFight spits on her. Fhanna follows suit. One by one, the women leave the ring, going their separate ways as Wiggy lies in a bloody, broken pile in the middle of the ring. The crowd is speechless. It appears that WIGGY’S WOMEN has disbanded. Medics quickly attend to Wiggy, but she is seriously injured. There’s not a sound as she is taken from the ring.
Some life returns to the crowd after that shocking scene as Bex makes his way to the ring. He’s cheered well by the crowd, but it is a tough spot as the crowd is so traumatized by what they just witnessed.
The crowd begins to boo as a march begins playing and banners unfurl with the DARK MENACE 2132 campaign logo appear.
The candidate himself appears at the entrance with the INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION Bishop Hell (II) behind him. Bishop Hell (II) sports a campaign shirt and follows the grinning Dark Menace down to the ring. Nitro catches them.
NITRO: You seem to be in a good mood tonight?
DARK MENACE; I certainly am. I have the INTERPLANETARY CHAMPION under my tutelage and he will retain his title tonight. And then later tonight, I will be the manager of the GALAXIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS and the GALAXIAN CHAMPION! And my complete and total victory will show the galaxy that if they vote for me, I will truly make the galaxy great again!
The fans boo loudly, but Dark Menace hears it all as cheers as he leads his man to the ring. Bishop Hell (II) steps into the ring and surrenders the belt to the ref and here we go!
INTERPLANETARY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Bex d. Bishop Hell (II) via DQ when Bishop Hell (II) bails out of the ring and clobbers Bex with a chair in front of the ref – DUD – The fans boo loudly. Bex is furious. Bishop Hell (II) smiles as he reclaims his belt. None is smiling more than Dark Menace.
NITRO: Come on, Menace! What an underhanded way to retain the gold!
DARK MENACE: I don’t care if you approve of my tactics or not. I get results! Bishop Hell (II) retains and the title stays with Dark Menace forces.
Bishop Hell (II) beats a hasty retreat with Dark Menace scurrying after. Bex chases after them, but it seems that’s the end of his title shot, at least for tonight.
The mood completely changes as the Aethran War Anthem begins playing and The Leveler appears, leading the GALAXIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS Probation & Fist to the ring. Love them or hate them, you cannot deny the fact that the GLADIATORS have been the most dominant tag team in years here in GALAXY’S FINEST. Any speculation that these two were rookies who’d quickly crumble to the competition has fallen by the wayside as the two have held the titles for a whopping 20 fight cards! A win here tonight will make them the third longest reigning tag team champions in recent history and it’ll put them only a stone’s through away from overtaking the second place spot held by their predecessors, Rush & Turmoil.
Their opponents, out now to the Dark Menace campaign march and banners are Coven Black and UltraMantis Black. A team the GLADIATORS have beaten before and oddsmakers say they will easily do so again here tonight! But could the Dark Menace have something up his sleeve? We are about to find out.
UltraMantis Black will start with Probation and the ref calls for the bell.
GALAXIAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
GLADIATORS d. BACK IN BLACK via pinfall after hitting AETHRAN HONOR on Coven Black – * – Showing their dominance again here tonight, Probation and Fist decimate Coven Black and UltraMantis Black in a completely lopsided victory. The two GLADIATORS stand in the ring with their titles around their waist, ending the year as the most dominant members of the troubled GLADIATOR team.
DARK MENACE is furious with his team and berates them all the way to the back.
The GLADIATORS leave the ring, heads held high, undefeated for their career so far. That can mean only one thing…it is time for the MAIN EVENT! The final match of 2131! For the GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP. Dark Menace reappears but he is not happy! The campaign march plays, the campaign banners wave, but the candidate is frantically whispering into to Nosfera’s ear. The challenger seems to be oblivious to Dark Menace’s words as the two head to the ring.
Then, Magnus the Magnanimous appears with the GALAXIAN CHAMPION, Chaos Supreme. Chaos Supreme looks confident, as does Magnus, as the two head to the ring.
Nitro gives the special introductions.
NITRO: The following contest is your MAIN EVENT and is for the GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP. Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied to the ring by his manager—
Dark Menace comes over and whispers in his ear. Nitro shakes his head no. Dark Menace barks at him.
NITRO: Accompanied by his manger and candidate for president of the United Federation of Stars and Planets, Dark Menace. He hails from Brimstone and weighs in at 248 pounds, Nosfera.
The crowd boos loudly.
NITRO: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager Magnus the Magnanimous, from Dimension X, weighing 383 pounds, he is your GALAXIAN CHAMPION, Chaos Supreme.
Again, the fans boo loudly, they are not happy with either contestant, but they respect the magnitude of both of these men being in the main event at BIG BANG. There is no position higher in the galaxy than wrestling in this match on this card. The ref clears the ring of everyone but the wrestlers and calls for the bell.
GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Nosfera d. Choas Supreme via pinfall after hitting DEMON’S BREATH – **1/2 – The galaxy is shocked! Nosfera pics up the win here, defeating Chaos Supreme with DEMON’S BREATH! Magnus is furious! He’s complaining to the ref, but on the other side of the ring, DARK MENACE is cheering loudly as he cradles the GALAXIAN CHAMPIONSHIP in his arms!
Campaign banners unfurl as red and white balloons tumble from the ceiling. The crowd boos. Nosfera seems oblivious and starts grabbing balloons and is gnawing on them, enjoying them popping in his mouth.
There is a new GALAXIAN CHAMPION and we end 2131 with the leading candidate for president of the United Federation of Stars and Planets holding the title aloft.
BIG BANG ends, proving for yet another year, the GALAXY’S FINEST™ is truly the galaxy’s finest!
FADE TO BLACK
©2016 Grant Baciocco